Showing posts with label Perseverance. Show all posts

I was troubled this weekend by a terrible memory of an event that took place just over 1 & 1/2 years ago. It was painful to recall and brought me to tears, unexplicably. My husband couldn't understand the reason for the tears. and, quite frankly, neither could I, but the memories came flooding back to me and broke my heart. The event was a blow to my self-esteem, my ego, and my pride. The memory came up from out of the blue without reason. I couldn't tell you WHY it came to my mind again, until today.... Read on....

I subscribe to the Ransomed Heart daily message and below is TODAY's daily message....

(All text within the quotes was copied directly from The Ransomed Heart daily message for 08/25/08.)

"Denial is a favorite method of coping for many Christians. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there he’s got to take us into our inmost being. One way he’ll do this is by bringing up an old memory. You’ll be driving down the road and suddenly remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you’ll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, event, or place. However he brings it up, go with him there. He has something to say to you.

The lessons that have been laid down in pain can be accessed only in pain. Christ must open the wound, not just bandage it over. Sometimes he’ll take us there by having an event repeat itself years later, only with new characters in the current situation. We find ourselves overlooked for a job, just as we were overlooked by our parents. Or we experience fear again, just as we felt those lonely nights in our room upstairs. These are all invitations to go with him into the deep waters of the heart, uncover the lies buried down there, and bring in the truth that will set us free. Don’t just bury it quickly; ask God what he is wanting to speak to."

(Waking the Dead , 122)

WOW!! May Jesus speak to you powerfully this week, EVEN if He must take your heart back to a painful memory or event... Go there with Him and claim the freedom He has waiting for you!!

I am empty. I am tired. I am discouraged, and I am weary. Those are the facts. That is the reality I am dealing with over the course of the past few weeks. I am not here today to encourage, or discourage, just to be real. I am also not here to gain encouragement from you. Again, I am just trying to be real. I really enjoy this blogging- connecting with friends and family this way. I enjoy writing. I enjoy pictures. I thrive on encouraging others. God created that in me, as part of my nature. But, I have no encouraging words to share or any neat stories to tell you today. I am just sharing that I am weary, tired from walking this walk.

Lately, at every turn, this world seems to be getting darker and more dismal, and I truly wonder what 1 person can do to make a difference. What can 1 mom, 1 wife, 1 daughter, 1 friend, 1 employee do to really and truly make a difference? I am still praying about that and pondering that, in my weary state. I need to be refreshed and rejuvenated. That is hard to do when you are running on empty. I have discovered a new song, as of late, and I think, NO, I know that God placed it in my path at just the right moment, at just the right time. Over the past 3 weeks, I play this song almost daily, many times more than once a day. I sing along with it, crying out to God. I cry to it. I meditate to it. I talk to my God to it. Sometimes, I am quiet and simply listen to it. The song should be playing now, as you read this post. Well, it USED to be playing. I changed the play list to play more upbeat songs. The words are below.....

All That I Can Say
By The David Crowder Band

Lord I'm tired
So tired from walking
And Lord I'm so alone
And Lord the dark
Is creeping in
Creeping up
To swallow me
I think I'll stop
Rest here a while

Chorus:
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
And this is all that I can say right now
And this is all that I can give
That's my everything.

Oh, didn't You see me cryin'?
Oh, and did You hear me call Your name?
Wasn't it You I gave my heart to?
I wish You'd remember
Where you sat it down.

Chorus:
And this is all, this is all that I can say right now
I know it's not much
But, this is all that I can give
And that's my everything
This is all that I can say right now, right now
I know it's not much,
This is all that I can give
Yeah, That's my everything.

Bridge:
I didn't notice You were standing here
I didn't know that
That was You holding me
I didn't notice You were cryin' too
I didn't know that
That was You washing my feet

So, here I am saying all I can say is that my Jesus, my Savior, my God is standing right here beside me. He is holding me and He is crying with me.

He is standing beside me, as I try to make a difference in this big, huge, world that seems so lost and off track.

He is holding me as I try to get up each day and face a new day by His grace and with His strength.

He is crying with me when my tears fall and my heart breaks for...

The loss I see around me in precious families that didn't deserve to lose precious babies, precious children.
The dear friends I see waiting to get their babies, whether by nature, or by adoption. They are simply waiting and it is agonizing.
Dear friends I see struggling with life changing decisions and making moves, out of comfort zones, that are very difficult to make.
A world that I see moving further and further away from the One True God.

I spoke to a very dear friend of mine, Shana, today who encouraged me very much with her words. It was over the phone and via email, but those methods work just as well some days. She said to me, 'Faith can change your circumstances, no matter how dark everything around you seems.' She also shared 1 John 5:4-5 with me. It reads:

'For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world- our faith. Who is he who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?'

So, though what my eyes see around me tells me differently, amidst a world that seems to grow darker each day, my Faith tells me that God has overcome and the victory is His, no matter how many battles it looks like we have lost.

And, in the end, this is all that I can say....